SUDDEN DEPRESSED

cant get it, y m i suffering from a mood depression all of a sudden..........

starting from tuesday, i feel very moody, i dun hv mood for everything all of a sudden, no mood for tuitions, no mood for homeworks, no mood for costumes, no mood for everything that i like.

it's weird, everytime i'm in a depressed mood, i dun feel lik eating at all, dun hv the appetite for everything, so i've almost not eaten for 2 days, my sole energy source for these days came from some chocolates i ate juz now. i really lik to take it out on myself everytime i m depressed, i dun eat for some days, pinch myself using my fingernails so on n so forth. m i a typical masochist?(dun get me wrong here.........)

these days i've been thinking a lot, be it positive things o negative things. when i thought of my future, i couldnt see my own image after ten years, i feel lik everything's plain hopeless for me, i dun hv a target for now, i dunno wat to do o wat i want. when i thought of some of my past experiences n my presence, i really dun understand how can god b so unfair? examples of it? i'm not going to tell here, because u readers(wonder if there's even a reader for this?) dun hv the necessity to listen to the fucking words from a badass guy.

it's lik things i want never come to me and what i've achieved till now is not truly wat i want. i wonder y, m i being too generous to always let the things i want go? everytime i suit myself to the others, till the end i got myself aggrieved. m i being too kind?

i feel lik my pride is being shredded and shattered. i dun lik it this way but wat to do? after tuition, i drowned myself into comics and sleep, reading comics somehow made me feel better, comics r simple, things went on lik they'd, everything's simply perfect in comics. wonder y life couldnt be lik that? things i want never come, things i dun want keep butting in, m i destined to b such a rubbish bin? receives only dumped trash?

i dunno....... i really dunno............... somehow i feel lik i was trapped by myself and i couldnt find the way out............ m i too persistent in my own principle? i really dunno...............................

hope i'll get well soon........ sorry to everyone that i've been cold towards these days, i mean it, but dun worry, i'll get well soon